The Top 10 Guidelines for Authentic Communications
Category: Communication Skills, Language, Expression (BN109)Originally Submitted on 3/3/98.
These guidelines will promote deeper, more intimate relationships. By practicing them, you will be a safe place for others while increasing your ability to define, know and enjoy yourself.
1. Use I/my statements: 'own' or be responsible for what you are saying.
Authentic Communications is ME telling YOU about ME.
2. To communicate effectively, speak personally and specifically rather than generally and abstractly.
3. No mind reading.
A 'You' statement is a way of analyzing or second guessing, and this also can cause misunderstandings or defensiveness. Allow others to be responsible for themselves.
4. Listen to your inner voice. Become aware of when you are moved to speak and when you are not moved to speak.
5. Listen carefully and with respect to what another person is telling you.
Do not formulate your response while someone is speaking, but wait until the other has finished.
6. Be comfortable with silence in communication.
Meditation on what was just said and checking your motivations for what you are about to say may take a few moments. This is a kind of honoring of both the speaker and yourself.
7. Respect differences.
People can have other ideas, thoughts and feelings. Don't try to convert them to your way. Celebrate the diversity.
8. Be aware of your own barriers.
Prejudices, expectations, ideologies, judgments or a need to control are obstacles to authentic communications.
9. Look and listen for the heart of a person behind his/her words. Concentrate on finding the strengths and gifts.
10. Be able to laugh at yourself and with others.
About the Submitter
This piece was originally submitted by Jean Handley, Jean has done post graducate studies in cross culture communication and facilitation., She is a coach and a change management consultant, who can be reached at handley@isracom.co.il. Jean Handley wants you to know: in additon to my coach clients in a real time chat room, I lead Authentic Communication/Community Building Teleclasses. Here we experience authentic communications which brings a better quality of life. Jean lives in Israel and welcomes chats from all over!
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