The Top 10 Entirely Obvious Things that are Too Easy to Forget

Originally Submitted on 7/3/2001.

If we could only remember, and act upon, all the things that we know, then how wise, successful and happy we would be. Some things are entirely obvious... yet we still forget them in the heat of the moment. Here are a few reminders:

1. The other person has a point of view, and so do you.

You are both entitled, and you may both have good reason to believe as you do.

2. Your internal horror at any embarrassing situation is far more memorable to you than your plight is to others.

Most of the time, they hardly notice it, let alone remember it, so relax.

3. The fact that someone else says that you have to do something does not mean that you have to do it, provided you are prepared to accept the alternatives.

The word NO, with its many more tactful variants, can be extremely freeing.

4. Yes you DO have a choice!

Again, if you think you do not, it probably means you are not willing to accept the alternatives. Try asking yourself what those alternatives are. See how many you can think of.

5. The behavior is not the person.

We can dislike the behavior without needing to dislike the person. This is crucial for parents to remember and to verbalize. It is also useful in other relationships.

6. The time and energy we put into complaining about the problem are probably more than we would need to solve the problem.

So the solution would be...

7. Full eye contact and a smile are the best beginning to most, though not quite all, encounters.

8. When someone else tells you what someone else said, they are actually telling you what they think they heard.

The words have been translated both in their hearing, their speaking, and your hearing. The result may not be what was originally intended, so check with the original source before reacting.

9. Tomorrow IS another day.

10. There is a difference between wanting what YOU think is best for someone, and wanting what THEY want for themselves.

Do not be surprised if they fail to thank you for the former.

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