The Top 10 Things to Make Getting Older a Bit Easier

Originally Submitted on 11/20/97.

It is happening to everyone.We are all getting older. But at a certain age, our own bodies, sometimes our own minds, and sometimes other people's attitudes, can bring the fact home with a certain harshness. Here are some ways to make the inevitable a little easier to deal with.

1. Accept the fact that it is happening to you and to everyone else. This doesn't mean assigning yourself to a rocking chair by the fireplace (unless that's what you want) but it means working realistically with the universe instead of railing angrily against it.

2. Whatever aspects of yourself you don't use will age much faster than those you keep active. If you value it, use it.

3. Be yourself. If you don't feel your age, you don't have to act it, regardless of what other people say. One of the pleasures of getting older is realizing that what other people think is not that important. But accept that if at 50 you try to behave as if you are 25 you may provoke comment. You are entitled to do it, it's none of their business. They are entitled to their opinions, try to make their opinions none of your business

4. Pay even more attention to keeping your body and mind fit, well-nourished, and free of harmful substances - there are articles in almost every magazine telling you how to do that.

5. Do not allow yourself to be anyone's victim. Neither sales people, nor closest family, or anyone else has the right to take advantage of you or to be abusive toward you.

6. If you can afford it, pay someone to do the really physically hard stuff. If you have to do it yourself, it's okay to do physical activities a bit more slowly, to take more breaks, to look for easier ways to do things. Make the grocery checker put less in each bag, don't fill the trash or leaf bags quite so full, drag things rather than carry them. Ask for help if you need to. It's okay.

7. If the past becomes more vivid to you than the present, make that a gift. Write a journal, or make audiotapes, about your childhood and your family as you were growing up. Regardless of whether yours is a chronicle of joy, of agony, or both, it will make a wonderful gift of both history and understanding for your descendents. (It might even become a best-seller!)

8. If you are a parent, remember that your goal was for your children to become strong and independent adults. If that has happened, allow them to be that without recrimination.

9. If you tend to focus on the things you haven't done in your life, also give yourself credit for the things you have done. Write a list of your achievements. In case you don't realize it, such things as raising children, looking after your family and having good friends who care about you ARE achievements.

10. Give yourself something to look forward to. Make a list of things you'd still like to do. Pick out the ones that are realistically possible and make some plans. Pick one, decide what will be the first step in achieving it, and set yourself a deadline for when you will do it.

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