The Top 10 Blocks to Marketing Yourself, and How to Overcome Them

Originally Submitted on 12/6/2001.

Many people who are great sales people for some specific thing find it difficult to sell a service that they personally provide. Selling oneself feels somehow different. Here are some of the blocks that prevent people from selling their own service, and some ways to overcome them.

1. How you see yourself

If we are to sell our services we need to know that we can do whatever we offer, and do it well. If a history of being put down, of accepting treatment as "less than," has affected your self-confidence, try listing everything you have achieved in the past (even the award for good handwriting that you got in 3rd grade) and re-reading the list on a regular basis. You may wish to assemble a three-ring binder, or a display, containing certificates, letters of appreciation, news clips, etc. as a reminder that you ARE okay! If you have no concrete reminder of some triumphs, try writing a banner headline, as though for a newspaper, about each achievement.

2. How you think others see you - or don't

There is a difference between knowing what we are capable of doing, and knowing that we are seen by other people as capable of doing it. Believing that we are overlooked by others, or that they will not perceive us as competent or convincing, can be a major block. Consider turning to your more positive (but honest) friends, and perhaps a coach, for constructive feedback. Read the achievement and motivational literature that reminds us how many people were not originally perceived as winners, but became so by persistence. Join organizations such as Toastmasters where you will receive regular feedback on how you are perceived, and how you can improve your self-presentation.

3. The belief that speaking up for oneself is not appropriate

When little Tommy jumps up and down with pride because he did well at school, it is not unlikely that someone in the family will tell him to stop, or accuse him of being conceited. People remember that 'pride goeth before a fall' and, not wanting their loved ones to fall, try to warn them against pride. These messages often stay with us so that as adults we fear to sing our own praises. Try describing your attributes in the third person, as though you are writing or speaking of a good friend. You may find that the words come more easily. Then transform the sentences into the first person... and guess what... you are describing YOU! And you are terrific!

4. The belief that networking involves distastefully using people

The old 'what can you do for me' picture of networking is out of date. Today most people, though there may be exceptions, know that the nature of modern networking is reciprocal. You do not network to see what other people can do for you, but to discover what you can do for others, and to build bridges so that they are aware of what services you offer. Perhaps this works more slowly than the older version, but it presents more long-term benefits.

5. The belief that we need to give to our community, and that charging a fee is not okay

Just how much could you give to your community if you were unable to feed yourself or put a roof over your head? Some people have an ethic that says that it is acceptable to be paid for our time and effort if we are working for someone else, but not if we are working for ourselves and offering our personal services for a fee. This is not logical. Of course if the real difficulty is in believing that you are worth the fee, see #1 above.

6. Thinking that to be successful in marketing we have to be the stereotypically pushy salesperson

Quite simply, you don't. We tend to remember examples that fulfill our stereotypes much more easily than those that do not, so the pushy sales folk stay in our minds. Start consciously studying the behavior of the many sales people you encounter. (I do not mean the ones who ignore you when you want to buy something - they are at the other extreme and you don't want to be that way either.) The best sales people seek to know how they can serve you, but do not try to rush the sale. Sales are made by building relationships, not by aggressively forcing yourself or your service onto people.

7. Having a dislike of competition

It is easy to believe that in order to sell your services you have to 'win' over everyone else who is selling a similar service. To some extent this may be true - but why should you not be the winner? Also, however, because both you and your prospective customers are individuals, it is quite likely that the service you offer is NOT exactly the same as that of your so-called competitors. Therefore, you are not really competing. Perhaps you are selling apples and your competitor is selling pears. Different markets, and therefore not only are you not competing, but you might perhaps be able to build a synergy between you... you can refer people who are looking for pears, and vice versa.

8. Fear of rejection

No one likes to be rejected. However, you are NOT the service you offer. When someone does not want to buy from you, this means that they are not currently in need of the service you offer, or that they cannot see the match between their needs and your service. It does not mean that they are rejecting you personally. If, out of fear of rejection, you avoid offering your service, not only are you failing yourself, but you are withholding your service from someone who might in fact need it very much. You are preventing them from making a choice - to buy or not buy - by making the decision for them that they do not want it. How would you feel if someone did that to you?

9. Lack of self-discipline around time

When you work for someone else, the structure around your time is often imposed upon you. When you start to work for yourself, and to market your own services, setting boundaries around how you spend your time may be one of the most serious obstacles you face. There are many excellent goal setting and time management systems. You may find a coach helpful. Time management is only a problem if you allow it to be - the fact is that you have just as much time available to you - 24 hours a day - as everyone else. How you decide to spend it is up to you.

10. Inability to perceive, or to convey how your service is needed

Your service is what you do that others need. The marketing gap is not what you do, but how what you do will help your prospective customer. Too frequently in sales the focus is on all the bells and whistles that you provide, without clarification as to (a) what kind of bells and whistles the customer needs, and (b) exactly how the customer will benefit from them.

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