The Top 10 Ways to Love Your Self a Little More

Originally Submitted on 2/20/2001.

What are the greatest commandments? Jesus responded, "Love God above all things and Love your neighbor as your self!" The first step towards loving your neighbor is to love your self? There is a difference between loving your self and being selfish or self-indulgent. Loving your self involves getting to know your self and nurturing the goodness within you. This requires the same level of investment that it takes to develop a great friendship. It means listening, caring for, reaching out to, forgiving and so forth. Here are a few thoughts about ways you can start.

1. Get a little exercise every day.

Remember those old body building ads. "You can look like this is 20 minutes each day." Well they are correct. What they leave out is the part about the pain and agony of this brutal workout. If it is agony you won't keep doing it. Find something you like to do and do it a little every day or every other day.

2. Make appointments with your self and treat them like you would any other important appointment.

Be on time. Don't cancel unless you have a good reason. Don't allow unnecessary interruptions. Use these appointments to do the things you have been meaning to do "just for you." You know what they are. Make a list and get started.

3. Pray or meditate.

Listen to your self and to God beneath the chatter of your thoughts. Stop thinking for a moment and see how long it takes for your next thought to emerge. Open your senses to what is happening now. Listening to God and your self takes practice and time. Read "Intimacy with God" by Thomas Keating or Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch.

4. Choose your companions before you choose the road.

Think about who you like to spend time with and spend more time with them. Nurture and invest in those relationships to the exclusion others. Be aware of what it is like when you are with these people. How does the experience help define you?

5. Welcome kindness from others and gratefully accept encouragement, support and assistance.

You will allow others to express their self by accepting nurturing. If help is not offered, ask! Honor yourself by receiving as well as giving.

6. Find some small way to give of your self each day.

In the Christian tradition, discover the suffering Christ. "I was hungry and you gave me to drink." You will deepen your understanding of yourself when you see and alleviate some suffering in your world each day with your own hands and heart. Pay attention to what you feel and experience when you do this.

7. Discover what makes you laugh and get a little chuckle every day.

8. Wonder, What am I doing when I am really being me?

Be aware of those small moments of joy and what you are doing when you experience them. When are you "in the groove?"

9. Honor your gifts by giving them.

What are your special talents? How do you touch the world and make it better? Use one of your gifts each day. What changes in you when you do this?

10. Before you go to bed at night, find one reason to rejoice. Here you will find things to cherish and value.

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