The Top 10 Things Women and Men Want in a Relationship, Part II

Originally Submitted on 10/13/2000.

In part I of this article, we looked at answers of six men to the question, "What do you want from a woman in order to build a great relationship?" Men said they wanted communication, self-sufficiency, absence of manipulation, personal growth, commitment and knowledge of men. This week it was time to ask women what they want from a man in order to build a great relationship.

Below are the answers of the six women interviewed, contrasted with what men think women want on the same topic. Below are also tips for men on how to give women what they want, attract a great woman and create a wonderful relationship.

Bear in mind, all six women are actively involved in personal growth and development.

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1. Clear, open, responsible communicator & listener

Women want men to communicate. Women specifically want communication about feelings, needs, wants, hopes, dreams, problems, solutions and all other things which make a relationship work. Women also want communication about expectations and plans. Women would rather put things on the table than sweep them under the rug. Women want men to communicate, listen and respond.

What men think women want
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Men think women want them to be women. They think women want men to talk, and men need to talk as much as women do. They also believe women either want to make them wrong when they talk, or want to have a problem fixed.

Tip for men
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To participate in communication is the greatest gift a man can give a woman and himself. No solid relationship can be built without truly listening, reflecting and thoughtfully responding. If a solid, passionate, wonderful relationship with a great woman is what you want, learn or polish your skills of listening and communicating.

2. Introspective and aware

Women want men to know their own minds and hearts. They want men who know what makes them happy or sad. They want men who are aware of what they want and understand what motivates their action or inaction.

What men think women want
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Men think women want them to take on the woman's wants. Men believe women are interested in controlling many aspects of the relationship.

Tip for men
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A powerfully introspective, self-aware man is a huge attractor for many women. What's more, self-awareness and introspection makes building a great relationship an easy endeavor. Start or continue practicing introspection and self-awareness.

3. Committed to the relationship, exclusively and for the long haul

Women, similarly to men, want a man who will commit to the relationship for the long haul. They want a man who wants fidelity and values it as a cornerstone of building a relationship.

What men think women want
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Men know women want long-term commitment and fidelity, but sometimes misinterpret this desire as neediness. They sometimes think women want the commitment for security reasons, to complete the woman or even to own the man.

Tip for men
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If you want to attract the type of a woman who knows how to build a powerful, passionate partnership, you must want to commit for the long haul. If she wants to commit to you, take it for the compliment it is. She considers you the man worthy of her trust and love.

4. Fun, playful, creative, passionate

Women want a man who enjoys what life has to offer. They want a man who knows how to play, who is not afraid to make a fool of himself, who lives his passions. They want a man of creative, intellectual, playful substance.

What men think women want
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Men often think women want complete and total devotion of the man's time and focus. Men sometimes believe, if unconsciously, women want to have a relationship for the sake of security. Hence, men often believe they have to give up their playful, passionate, creative nature when entering a relationship.

Tip for men
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Modern women want a mate, and that means at least partly a playmate. If you want to attract a powerful, vibrant, great woman and build an outstanding relationship, relearn to play. Discover your passion to make yourself irresistibly attractive.

5. Cares deeply about her needs and his needs

Women want a man who will care deeply about her needs and wants without losing himself in the process. They want a man who can recognize and acknowledge what she wants and address it; a man who can say no or yes, depending on which one is more true to his heart; and, a man who can give to his relationship and partner without sacrificing himself.

What men think women want
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Men think women will need more and more if their needs are recognized and honored. Men think women want men to give themselves up to the relationship. On the other hand, men sometimes think women want to be left alone to lick their wounds when they feel needy.

Tip for men
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To know, see and take care of another's needs while knowing and taking care of your own is not an easy thing. It is, however, one of the more powerful skills needed to build a long-term, vibrant, healthy relationship. You would do well to learn or sharpen this skill.

6. Responsible financially and professionally

Women and men want the same things here. Women want a man who knows where he is going career-wise, and is on the way to getting there. They want a man who has dreams and is working on making them happen. They want a man who uses the tool of money wisely, and knows how to be both frugal and generous.

What men think women want
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Men think women want their money, or only want men with money. Men think women want them for the security their money could provide.

Tip for men
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In truth, there are women who want to be supported by men financially, just as there are men who want to be supported by women financially. A woman who can be a great relationship partner will want a man who can be a financial partner. Handle the money, honey, in any way meaningful for you.

This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in The Relationship Coach Newsletter, a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationship. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to www.WhatItTakes.com

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