The Top 10 Toxic Thoughts Keeping You From Love

Originally Submitted on 8/20/2003.

Are your toxic thoughts causing you to give up on love or settle for less than what you want and deserve? Persevering in today's dating jungle can be a daunting task. Do not despair. Seek the help of a relationship coach to be a winner in the game of LOVE!

1. All the good ones are taken.

REMEDY: If your not happy with the type of person you are attracting, take a look at the type of person you are. Address your flaws, and become the type of person you'd like to date. The law of attraction is paramount in seeking a partner. Birds of a feather flock together rings true in the dating arena. If you possess the qualities that you want in a partner, the law of attraction will work for you. Just be patient, believe, and persevere!

2. I have to take what I get; I can't be choosy.

REMEDY: You must be willing to walk away from what you don't want so that you can be available for what you do want.

3. "Soul Mates" or "True Love" does not exist.

REMEDY: Start believing that quality relationships exist. Look at happily married couples and know if they have a happy relationship, you can too!

4. LOVE = PAIN.

REMEDY: You must resolve the emotional pain and baggage from your past before you can be emotionally open enough to have the quality relationship you desire. After all, you are 50% of the relationship.

5. Nobody can love me.

REMEDY: You must first learn to love yourself. If you hate yourself, chances are others will pick up on your negative vibes and respond in like manner.

6. I'm too ____________ (fat, ugly, poor, old).

REMEDY: Just go to the mall and watch the multitude of couples walking hand in hand who are fat, ugly, poor, or old. Let it sink into your head: beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Love is available for all.

7. LOVE = Ball and Chain.

REMEDY: Sometimes the lack of communication is the culprit, if you view a partnership as bondage. Identify the amount of space that you need in a relationship to be happy and learn how to communicate your desire to your potential partner. Also recognize that a relationship requires some give and take for it to be healthy and fulfilling for both partners.

8. I failed in a past relationship, so I am doomed to fail again.

REMEDY: Performing an autopsy on a failed relationship can be a very valuable tool in helping you understand which areas you need to work on to be more successful in your next relationship. Then be willing to acquire or develop the skills required to help you be more successful in your next relationship.

9. I'm a loser magnet.

REMEDY: Having low self-esteem and poor boundaries are usually the culprit. Get it deep into your soul that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and don't tolerate anything less.

10. I am afraid of abandonment.

REMEDY: Alfred, Lord Tennyson, says it best "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." We must take risks, if we are going to find true love. Resolve your abandonment issues and be willing to risk rejection in order to experience the greatest gift in life: LOVE.

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