The Top 10 Tips for Building Dynamite Relationships

Originally Submitted on 3/9/2004.

Relationships hold a high place for most of us, especially women. We want great relationships with clear communication, empathy, understanding, mutual trust and friendship and fantastic sex - we want DYNAMITE RELATIONSHIPS.

But what do we get much of the time? Relationships loaded with communication problems, irritability, conflict, misunderstandings, blame, hurt and anger! We feel like we're going to explode! Try these tips for building dynamite relationships so the stress doesn't grow and settle in your muscles and organs and cause you to develop fibromyalgia, migraines, stomach problems, anxiety and depression.

1. Get to know yourself, inside and out.

Know what you want and need. Know what you like. Determine your values and priorities. Write them down. Believe in yourself and don't compromise.

2. Choose healthy relationships from the start.

Don't go out looking for a red dress and settle for beige! Don't be desperate - be choosey!

3. Move slowly and develop a strong foundation.

Don't get enmeshed in an emotional relationship before you see the hazards and recognize the danger.

4. Nurture good relationships.

Take the first step to schedule a get together or just chat on the phone.

5. Develop excellent communication and conflict resolution skills, and use them.

This in itself can drastically change a relationship.

6. Develop assertiveness skills.

Passive people ignore their needs and get walked on. Aggressive people walk on others to get what they want. Assertive people learn to get their needs met without walking on anyone.

7. Learn to really listen.

Listen with body, mind and spirit.

8. Be self-aware.

When a misunderstanding happens, check it out. Be sure you have all the information. Determine what part you played in the situation.

9. Develop intuition and body awareness so you can identify relationship stress in your body immediately, as it is happening.

Then deal with it appropriately before it gets deadly.

10. Lose the denial.

If something isn't right, deal with it. Don't play pretend and wake up too late. All relationships have misunderstandings. It's how we deal with them that counts.

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