The Top 10 Self Care Tips for Introverts

Originally Submitted on 7/28/2003.

Come of age! Introversion is a legitimate personality type. We aren't neurotic or anti-social. We give energy in the presence of others and need time alone to recharge our batteries.

1. Spend at least 1/2 your time alone.

Give yourself permission to take what you need. There are harmless ways to disguise your goal if it works better socially -- make up a "club" you attend once a week or an "ailing relative" you need to visit.

2. Avoid small talk.

Small talk is annoying to introverts. We get nothing from engaging in it, while being drained by someone else who finds it rewarding, so it's a double negative.

3. Stay away from cell phones and other noise pollution.

Introverts need serious "peace and quiet" to restore balance.

4. Treasure long drives ... they give you the time alone you need.

You can begin to cultivate "long drives" as opportunities to get more time alone while seeming to be as social as extroverts demand. For example, "I'd love to have dinner with you sometime. Why don't we meet at that restaurant 40 miles from here?" If they balk at the idea, you've killed two birds with one stone.

5. Enjoy nature.

OK, so you can't always take "long walks" in nature, but you can find a spot of sunshine in the courtyard during lunch or take a break down the block under a shady tree. It will do wonders to restore your energy.

6. Buffer access to yourself.

We know how much those chatty extroverts like to talk to us and how draining it is. We have do to whatever we can for protection! I arrange my office like an obstacle course. It's hard to get in the door and move around. The furniture is badly arranged and there are no comfortable places for someone to sit down . I keep apologizing and saying I'll have to do something about it but but I won't. There's method to my madness.

7. Be up front about yourself and your needs.

My life turned a corner when I advertised for a roommate with this leading sentence: "quiet, orderly, introverted, mature and stable roommate desired ...."

8. Know your stress signals.

If it's nibbling too much, picking at your face or fingernails, flinging one foot out over the other crossed leg ... this means you've reached your limit. Time out. Let's go for a change of scene and a little time alone to recharge those batteries!

9. Work on your "persona" or personality but don't take it too seriously.

I refer to this as our "Personality for State Occassions". Silly as it is, we need one ... not to win friends and influence people (a meaningless statement to an introvert) but more as a suit of armor ... to keep people away!

10. Never, never, never apologize for your introversion!

When excusing yourself in order to have more time alone, make it a positive affirmation or don't make it at all.

---

About the Submitter

This content may be forwarded in full, with copyright, contact, and creation information intact, without specific permission, when used only in a not-for-profit context. For other uses, permission in writing from CoachVille is required. Questions: email topten@coachville.com

Please use your browser controls to close this page & return to the selection page, or click to return to Top 10 home page.