The Top 10 Ways to Sneak Up and Catch the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness

Originally Submitted on 8/20/2003.

If the pursuit of happiness is defined as an "unalienable Right" in the Declaration of Independence, then why is the butterfly of happiness so elusive? Fluttering away from us as we are within an arm's reach. Here are some tips to help you sneak up and catch the elusive butterfly of happiness.

1. Recognize that happiness is a choice.

Consider the following scenario. Two people stuck in a traffic jam. One person pops in their favorite CD and sings. The other person screams obscenities and pounds on the horn. Both arrive to work late. One is singing their favorite song. The other has chest pains from giving into road rage. Who do you want to be? It's your choice!

2. Live in the present moment.

Too many people miss the joy of the present moment because they are trapped in their own self-made prison of sadness by hanging on to old resentments about an offense that happened years ago. Forgiveness is one of the best things that I know of to release you from your painful past. Seek the help of a therapist, clergy, or life coach specializing in forgiveness, if you are struggling with old hurts.

3. Watch what you feed your mind.

If you are glued to the news and have a fascination about the sadistic criminal mind, you are feeding your mind junk and will have a more pessimistic outlook on life. INSTEAD read inspirational stories, spiritual literature, or watch a good comedy. Why not read Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman?

4. Practice simplicity.

Consider the person who purchases a motorboat because they love to go fishing on vacation. Now he must pay for the purchase of his boat, buy a trailer for the boat, obtain insurance, find a place to store the boat, pay for a license, scrub the barnacles off the boat. Whew ... I'm tired just thinking about all of that added expense and responsibility. He might have been better off to rent the fishing boat for his vacation. The simpler your life, the more time you have to enjoy it!

5. Develop an attitude of gratitude.

Focus on what you have, rather than what you do not have. You'll be much happier. If your car broke down and you are walking down the street, be thankful you have two legs. If you are in a wheel chair, delight in hearing the sounds of the birds chirping.

6. Practice random acts of kindness.

Smile and say "Hello!" to everyone you meet. Open the door for the person with an arm full of groceries. Pay the toll for the person behind you. Anonymously place a flower on your secretary's desk. Watch the big smile on her face. That is sure to put one on you! For more ideas on random acts of kindness read Random Acts of Kindness by Dawna Markova.

7. Allow time for enjoyment in your life.

Allow a minimum of 15 minutes a day for doing something you enjoy. It could be a walk to your favorite park, a luxurious bubble bath while playing your favorite CD, or a quick read of your favorite comic strips.

8. Spend time cultivating rewarding relationships.

Relationships are like flowers, they need the right ingredients in order to flourish. Spend time with your friends and loved ones. Learn the fine art of diplomatic problem solving (an alternative to arguments). Treat your loved ones with respect. Never let the sun go down on your anger.

9. Stop desiring other people's possessions.

The Joneses may have a mansion on the water, but have you ever thought what it must be like to have the mortgage payment and taxes of a waterfront property? Count your blessings. You are probably having a good night's sleep in your cozy little home while they are worried about making the next house payment or burglars.

10. Laughter is the best medicine.

According to Dr. Lee Berk and fellow researcher Dr. Stanley Tan of Loma Linda University in California, laughter is beneficial in the following ways:
- Lowers blood pressure
- Reduces stress hormones
- Increases muscle flexion
- Boosts immune function
- Triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and produces a general sense of well-being.
Incorporate more laughter in your life. Watch comedies, read a good joke, and learn how to laugh at yourself and life!

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