The Top 10 Things to be Sure Someone Else Knows in Case of Sudden Death

Originally Submitted on 10/28/2001.

We have recently been reminded of something that we all know at the intellectual level, but often avoid at the level of doing something about it. Death is an inevitability, and it does not always give due warning. The events of September 11 have brought this to our attention, but in fact we have always known that every time we leave the house we may not return, every time we say goodbye to a loved one, it could be for the last time. There are many lessons to be learned from these thoughts, but this list relates to practicalities. There are things that your survivors need to know. If you die suddenly they may have to make decisions at a time when they are not
emotionally able to do so. As a kindness to your loved ones, consider preparing some information for them to use in the days following your death, even though we hope that will not be for many years to come. It can be left in a sealed, clearly marked envelope if you don't want to share it in advance. For example:

1. Who is to be informed, and their contact information

You probably have many separate groups of friends who would want to know about your death, some of whom may not be known to your immediate family. Who should be told? How may they be contacted?

2. Passwords

In life you may guard your internet and computer access fairly carefully. However, there may be accounts to be closed, memberships to be ended, correspondents to be informed. Without the various passwords that enable you to access them, your survivors will either have to ignore it all, or pay a high priced consultant to dig around and try to bypass such security.

3. Finances

Where are your bank accounts? What are your account numbers? Are there any accounts that you no longer use but that you have never closed? Credit cards? Do you have a brokerage account? A stockbroker?

4. Insurance

Insurance issues can be complex. If you have a folder labeled Insurance but that contains information on all of your policies for the past ten years, your survivors will be digging through them, trying to figure out what is current and what is not, at a time that they absolutely do not need to be bothered by such details. Keep your information up to date. If you need to keep information on old policies, label them as no longer current.

5. Safe deposit boxes

Where? How to access? What are the contents? And please do NOT keep your will in your safe deposit box. Once the bank knows you have died, the box may be sealed until probate is granted, which can complicate things greatly if your survivors cannot access the will in the meantime.

6. The whereabouts of your will and information about your executor

Remember, too, that named executors may retire, legal firms change their policies, people who ten years ago agreed to be executors may no longer be in a position to do so. Even though you may not wish to update your will frequently, at least keep tabs on changes that may affect its execution.

7. Important papers

Are there other papers that people need to know about? Where are they and what do you wish done with them? (Are there papers, letters or photos among them that might be hurtful to your survivors? Are you sure you wish to keep them?)

8. Funeral wishes

Decision-making at such an emotional time is difficult for the survivors. If you have a strong liking for certain hymns, certain religious passages, leave a note about it. Don't just refer to certain passage numbers, however, for subsequent editions of liturgical books may change these. Indicate the first line or so. Have you made prior arrangements about the disposal of your remains? Do you wish to be buried? If so, where? Do you prefer cremation? Is there something specific you would like done with your ashes? A particular epitaph you would wish to be on your headstone? Let people know, in writing.

9. Organ donation wishes

Do you wish your organs to be donated if they may save or prolong someone's life? Don't leave your survivors to make this very emotional and often difficult decision.

10. Any understandings as to who gets what that are not mentioned in the will

Wills usually dispose of major effects. Where families sometimes fall out after a death is over the small things, perhaps of no financial value but powerfully sentimental. Ask your family if there are things they might particularly want. Leave directions in writing even if not in your will. The last thing you want is for your loved ones to fall out over some trinket that you did not even consider worth mentioning.

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