Coaching Tip: Reframing Tolerations

Originally Submitted on 7/16/99.

Introduction

Mental reframing can be as effective a way of zapping tolerations as the physical process of removing them.

The Coaching Tip

A major frustration for some coaches, and clients, is the toleration that does not seem to be zap-able--at least in the client's mind. Whenever tolerations are addressed in a coaching session, the topic is raised--let us use the ubiquitous piles of paper as an example--and yet the client always has reasons why they cannot get rid of them. What can the coach do?

There are probably as many solutions to this problem as there are coaches, but one very effective procedure is simply to outline the options so as to include reframing of the problem so that it ceases to be a problem. For example,

The client can move the problem to the top of the priority list and DO something about it--the conventional zap.

S/he can make the decision that this is NOT a toleration, but a choice, a price s/he chooses to pay for spending time on a more important project. This option moves the client from being a victim-of-piles-of-paper to being in a position of choice and empowerment. This leaves open the possibility of seeking another solution in the future, but also accepts that for the moment it is not a problem--the choice zap.

S/he can clearly decide that at this time and in this situation, piles of paper are okay, and the idea that they are not acceptable is a SHOULD that has been placed on him/her by other, outside sources. There are, after all, many highly productive individuals whose offices are inundated with piles of paper and books. They can lay hands on whatever they wish, and regard their piles of stuff as a resource. They therefore choose not to spend their time in sorting out what may appear to others to be a mess--the acceptance zap.

Whatever choice is made, the issue ceases to be a toleration. It is zapped either by being removed or being reframed. If the client chooses a reframe, s/he is not WRONG for still having the tolerations around, and at the same time, coaching time need no longer be spent on attempts to address the issue.

---

About the Submitter

This content may be forwarded in full, with copyright, contact, and creation information intact, without specific permission, when used only in a not-for-profit context. For other uses, permission in writing from CoachVille is required. Questions: email topten@coachville.com

Please use your browser controls to close this page & return to the selection page, or click to return to Top 10 home page.