Coaching Tip: Pay-offs for non-action
Category: Coaching Secrets (CS190)Originally Submitted on 10/31/99.
Introduction
As coaches we may sometimes encounter clients who express great desire to do certain things, but who just do not get around to it. We may even encounter this behavior in ourselves. Sometimes we need to find the present pay-off.
The Coaching Tip
When a pattern of paralysis occurs we do well to search deeply for the unobserved pay-offs to the behavior that is occurring now, the behavior that we percieve as paralysis. Human beings do not do anything--even remain behaviorally paralyzed--without a pay-off. Unfortunately some of our pay-offs are hidden, from ourselves as well as from others.One classic example is the overweight woman who is unconsciously using her weight to make herself unattractive because of some childhood trauma. Such extremes probably call for therapy before the client can take good advantage of being coached. However, there are many less extreme cases. Would success separate the individual from family members or friends? The present pay-off is the close relationship between them. Would the development of an effective filing and organization system put the client in a position of "put up or shut up" as regards to what are at the moment his/her stated ambitions? The present pay-off is that s/he is not yet having to be put to the test.
When a client seems unable to take a certain needed and desirable action, an effective coaching technique may be to help him/her to examine what the present pay-offs may be.
About the Submitter
This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal Development Coach, who can be reached at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com, or visited on the web. Diana Robinson wants you to know: To learn more about my Personal Development Coaching and/or to subscribe to either/both of my two e-mail free newsletters, please visit my web site. I also offer you the gift of a half-hour of free coaching by phone, with no obligation.
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