Coaching Tip: Being the Bearer of Bad News
Category: Coaching Secrets (CS234)Originally Submitted on 4/11/2000.
Introduction
One attribute of most coaches is that they are unfailingly positive. For this reason, giving feedback that is not positive is difficult for many of us. How can one be the bearer of bad news and yet remain positive?
The Coaching Tip
I once knew a professor who could write a three-page critique of a research proposal, tearing it apart (and rebuilding it) from start to finish and yet leave the reader feeling as if s/he were ten foot tall and walking a couple of inches above the ground at the end of the critique. It is an enviable gift, and one to which we can all aspire.One very useful technique in such a situation is to present the problem in the form of a question. Not 'I think your idea is unlikely to succeed,' but 'How can you set things up so that you have the best possible chance of success?' Not 'I don't see how you will be able to achieve this,' but 'Can you explain to me, step by step, how you will achieve this?' Not 'This plan needs a lot of work,' but 'Where would you like me to work on this with you?' If our listeners are thrown back on their own resources to find the answers to such questions, the problems will often become apparent to them, which is a more positive experience than if they have to hear them from someone else.
In other circumstances where feedback is needed that may not be experienced by the client (or family members) as fully positive, it is sometimes helpful to use the 'sandwich' technique used in many Toastmasters' International groups. The sandwich technique involves giving two bits of positive feedback, with one 'room for improvement' comment sandwiched in between the two. The listener thus receives positive reinforcement at both the beginning and the end of what is said, so that the overall feedback is experienced positively, while the 'room for improvement' information is still received.
A coach cannot in all honesty hold back information that a client needs just because there is fear that it will be experienced negatively. The coaching skill is to phrase the information so that it is honest, but presented in a non-threatening, non-critical way.
About the Submitter
This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal Development & Business Coach, who can be reached at Choices4U@ChoiceCoach.com, or visited on the web. Diana Robinson wants you to know: My clients achieve greater success and enjoyment of life as we work on enhancing their ability to focus on what is truly important to them. To learn more, and/or to subscribe to either/both of my two e-mail free newsletters, please visit my web site. I also offer you the gift of a half-hour of free coaching by phone, with no obligation.
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