Coaching Tip: Out of the Frying Pan...
Category: Coaching Secrets (CS84)Originally Submitted on 2/23/99.
Introduction
The saying, "Out of the frying pan, into the fire," exemplifies what can easily happen when someone in transition is attempting to avoid repeating history. Instead of repeating history, they may go to an opposite, and equally undesirable, extreme.
The Coaching Tip
Transition is a time when many people hire a coach, so this can be particularly important when being hired by a client new to coaching. There may be a tale of woe such that we feel an urge to encourage a change in the "away from" direction. However, it may be more important to help the client to change attitude so that, rather than trying to get AWAY from something, they are first able to choose what it is that they will move TOWARD.When we are just trying to get away from something, we will often go to the other extreme. The person who has been an exemplary family person, the epitome of hard work and responsibility, may espouse a self-destructive lifestyle, or take up with new acquaintances who are potentially dangerous. The change is not always towards irresponsibility. Counterculture folks, those who have lived a casual, possibly illegal lifestyle, may astound their friends by becoming conventional, even conservative, in their approach to life. The issue is not to judge that a change is good or bad, but to be sure that it is what the client chooses, that it is not just the opposite of whatever s/he is fleeing.
There is nothing wrong with making changes. The trick for the coach is to help the client be sure the change is CHOSEN for its desirability, not accidentally arrived at in the pell-mell rush to get away from whatever was wrong with the previous situation.
About the Submitter
This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal & Spirituality Coach, who can be reached at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com, or visited on the web. Diana Robinson wants you to know: I welcome your visit to my web site and your subscription to my free newsletters, and I invite you to accept a free half-hour of coaching with no obligation.
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