Coaching Tip: Why? What is it for?
Category: Coaching Secrets (CS90)Originally Submitted on 3/6/99.
Introduction
One of the most frequent tasks facing clients who hire a coach is to prioritize, simplify and balance their various goals. A most useful technique is to ask, quite simply, What is it for? Or even more simply, just Why?
The Coaching Tip
Coaches and clients alike can become bogged down in a morass of goals to the point that they no longer remember what the original reason for setting some of those goals was. When this happens, the pursuit of a goal can actually end up being contrary to its original purpose. It is important to discover what the basic reason for setting the goal was, and persistent questioning may be needed to get the most basic purpose toward which that goals is aimed.For example:
Goal - To get a promotion... Why? Increased salary... Why? To put the kids through college... Why? So they'll have a better life... But what is all the extra work to get the promotion doing to their quality of life now?
There may be other reasons for that particular goal. Perhaps to prove something... but to whom? And, if one does prove it, what does it change? Would they like you more, treat you better? Do you care about the opinion of someone who would only respect you for your position and not for the person you are?
This is not to say that all goals are based on spurious reasons. However, it is to say that quite a few come from values that are not our own. Fully understanding why we set the goals we do can save us many a long and painful detour. "Why?" and "What is it for?" can help us toward that understanding.
Self-knowledge is one of the great gifts towards which a coach can guide a client. Judicious questioning can dig through the externals and uncover insights that will, of themselves, clarify where the priorities lie.
About the Submitter
This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal & Spirituality Coach, who can be reached at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com, or visited on the web. Diana Robinson wants you to know: I welcome your visit to my web site, and your subscription to my two free e-mail newsletters. To experience my coaching, please accept my offer of a free half hour coaching session by phone.
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