Coaching Tip: We Can't All Be Leaders

Originally Submitted on 3/21/99.

Introduction

The majority of coaches are independent, often risk-taking, quite frequently loners, and almost always leaders. The fact that these traits work for us does not mean that they will work for everyone. We must be careful not to try to remake our clients into images of ourselves.

The Coaching Tip

As we utilize the lessons we ourselves have learned to the benefit of our clients, it is important to remember that not all our clients need to learn the same lessons that we have faced. Several times in recent months I have been approached by people whose ambition is to be an assistant to someone who is already successful. Because of this, family and friends have made them feel that there is something wrong with them. Why aren't they aiming to be the successful person who has someone else as an assistant?

It is true that there may be situations where a client's self-esteem is so low that therapy is needed. Some clients do need encouragement to blossom toward reaching their full potential. However, success for a specific client may not involve becoming the leader of the pack or basking in the spotlight. Nor can everyone be comfortable or successful as a risk-taker. Sometimes a client has undertaken some realistic self-appraisal and has decided s/he does not have what it takes to be a leader, and/or, more importantly, does not WANT to be a leader. There is nothing wrong with this. If we all became leaders... who would we lead?

Even more importantly, almost every successful person will tell you that s/he could not be so successful without the help of the assistants and other staff who live in the background, making huge contributions to their boss's success, and, usually, being quite content to stay out of the spotlight. Without such people, business and government would fail. Who is to say, therefore, that they are not successful in their own right?

The image of the high-flying, risk-taking leader as the epitome of success is strongly endorsed by the media, particularly in western cultures. However, there are many forms of success. If a client has a goal that is less than what we would accept for ourselves, it does not necessarily mean that it is not an appropriate goal for that individual.

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